My husband calls me weird

Up close and personal

  

Seriously, is this not the cutest baby ever? I started back at work today so my brain is sludge. Wait no, sludge is fucking better than what my brain is. My adorable kid is just going to have to suffice for now. I'll find something soon to bitch about, complete with sarcasm and the word fuck. If you don't like it then suck it. It takes too much energy to care. At least I've stopped obsessively checking for fucking pin worms. It's a start right?

Two months

 

What up my peeps?! It's me again. I'm hijacking my mommy's blog. She won't notice, she's too busy muttering things about pin worms. She's using words I can't say. They are not nice young lady words. I don't get why she's going all crazy cleaning and butt checking. We don't even have pin worm! Mommy keeps asking Aaron if his butt itches and goes all flashlight nutso taking peeks when we're supposed to be sleeping at night. And she's NEVER seen one worm on anyone's butt or any sign of it in our poops. I can't believe she's studying our poop. Totally crazy this mommy of mine is. Totally. Listen. I'm two months old tomorrow. I can't believe it either. Look at my cuteness. We can't go anywhere without people wanting to get into my face about how sweet and precious I am. That drunk lady at CVS was so annoying, but mommy set her you-know-what straight. Don't mess with my mommy if you know what's good for you. I've mastered this smiling thing. You should see what people do to try to get me to smile. HA! They are such freaks. Freaks I tell you. Inside I'm laughing my cute little worm free butt off at them. I can't laugh yet, but I'm trying. So look, mommy goes back to work on Monday. I don't know what I think of this. My all day boob fest is going to end and I'm rightly ticked off. We will see how it goes. If I don't like it I will make sure I wake up every hour during the night. That will teach her. Well anywho, we'll talk again later. Mommy's coming and I don't want her to catch me.

(Oh and Connor, hi! Love the Cookie Monster outfit. Totally.)

The words every parent dreads to hear........

"Your child has been exposed to pinworm."

You can start screaming now. I wasn't going to post again today, but one kid is at the pinwom filled school and the other is napping. I'm breaking in between rounds of sanitizing everything. Now, Aaron does not have pinworm (that I know of.) Some kids from the lower class have it. No one in Aaron's class has been diagnosed, but the kids that do have it were visiting Aaron's class last week. Also, I have a thumb sucker. Needless to say, I will be getting out ye ole flashlight out and checking his butt tonight after he goes to sleep. Apparently pinworm only comes out to play at night. Gag me with a fucking spoon.

Speaking of butts, on our ride into school Aaron starts singing,

"Butt, buuuttttt, butt, butt, buuuuutttttttt!"

"Aaron, I am so tired of you using the word butt all the time." (and fart, poop, etc..)

"But moooo-oom, I'm not saying butt, b-u-t-t, I'm saying but, b-u-t."

Smart ass.

(are you feeling itchy yet?)

Drained

• I wipe half the butts in this household. I need a life.
• Beer and bowling on Sat. when I broke down to Kevin that I need help. In front of all our church friends. Classy.
• I got a total of 4 hours of sleep last night. Soph couldn't get comfy and wiggled all night and Kev had a migraine and muttered random crap all night long.
• I have mastered the lazy art of lying down and nursing.
• Aaron won't stop challenging me. I've ripped out more hair than I care to admit.
• He turns 5 in three weeks and has two loose teeth. Gah, the knife in my heart.......
• My dad called this morning to inform me there is a high chance he might have lymphoma. (His lymph node in neck is the size of a peach. More tests this week to determine things.)
• After the call ended I immediately called my doctor. Nothing like admitting I can'thandle this all by myself. Meds to be picked up this evening.
• Crap, baby is awake.

The shirt says it all.

 

(apologies to facebook peeps who have seen this before.......)

Wow you guys are opinionated

It was pretty clear from all your responses, it's a-okay if I stop blogging, but don't you dare stop posting pictures of that baby. I understand. She's too damn cute for anyone's own good. The truth is this parenting of three shit is hard. Really hard. I feel lost in the daily routine of everything. I'm lucky if I get a shower in the morning. Just as I sit down to eat lunch, one kid needs a snack and me to read a book, the other needs a boob and a diaper change. Let's not talk about what the 13 year old needs. Holy shit my eyes feel like they are going to pop out of my head. I'm feeling the pressure, the stress and the anxiety of a newborn. There is no time to relax because there is always something that needs to be done. Right now I need to fold a load of clothes in the dryer, unload the dishwasher and feed the neurotic cat. I go back to work in a week and a half. In that time I need to stop going batshit crazy about not having enough money, credit card debt and the fact that I have no fucking clue how I am going to get through each day. We've just (kind of...not really) started a daily schedule of eat, play, nap, repeat and now I'm going to fuck it all up by going back to work and sending Miss Thang to daycare. Not to mention the weird dry skin patch on my elbow. This blog just seemed like one more thing I needed to figure out fucking time for and I don't want that. Perhaps I need to call the doctor and get a low dose of something...or maybe I just need a beer and a full nights sleep. Either way, I will try not to completely disappear. I don't want to lose the friendships I've made with many of you. I can't promise anything (not that I ever wrote anything decent.) If not I will give you guys the baby pictures you all desperately want. (I feel...so...used. Will you call me in the morning?) I hope this all makes some sense and not just ramblings of a crazy lady who hopes the baby wakes up soon because my boobs are killing me.

Speaking of pictures, here's some from Easter. There, now you can all stop bugging me. Can you handle the cuteness?!

 

 

 

 

Organ pipes from our church. Kev took it and I just love the picture.

 

So there. Maybe you'll see me next week. We'll see how it goes. I'm off to go fold those clothes.

I bid you adieu....at least for now

I think the time has come for me to say goodbye, at least for awhile. Things are beyond hectic with a newborn and a very active 4 year old, not to mention having a husband, a 13 year old step son, work and countless other demands that I can't ignore. Something's got to give and unfortunately it's gonna be this blog I've called home for over 2 years. You'll still see me in your comment section from time to time, but realistically, cute baby pictures will only get you so far in a blog and I've run out of things to share. Maybe you'll see me back after things have calmed down and a routine is set. Hell, for all I know I will be seriously bored at work when I go back in 2 weeks and I will post just to save me from falling asleep.  These past 2 or so blog years have been awesome and I thank you for all the wonderful comments, laughs and support. You rock and I love you. If you were here I'd give you the best sloppy kiss you've ever received. I might even grope you a bit. Until then I leave you with the best word ever known to man: fuck. Use it often and use it proud! (Please, no uncontrollable sobbing or begging. I've made up my mind and crying that hard will only make your mascara run.) Smooches you fantastic biotches you.

Operation Ronald McDonald

2 weeks ago my 4 precious nephews were born. I have shared a little bit about them before. You can follow their amazing story here (they are doing wonderful. I can't wait to meet them. Just waiting for a snot free weekend.) While my nephews are still in the NICU my SIL, Kris, and BIL, Tim, have stayed a few nights at the Ronald McDonald house. It is an awesome charity that offers housing and comfort for families who have sick children in the hospital. Ronald McDonald House needs donations of trial size personal care items, household items and pop tabs. Also, my MIL has donated some crocheted hats for all the preemies in the NICU. I am doing a call out to all of my wonderful readers to help with this. I know times are tough and if you can't help and donate than I completely understand. I am asking for people to purchase any of the above items, or even just save your pop can tabs and send them to me. If you can crochet/knit and want to make hats I will email you the size specifications. After all items are sent to me, I will deliver them to the Ronald McDonald House. Please either email me or leave a comment if interested in donating and I will send you address information. I want to give back for all the help my family has received.

(Either way it would be wonderful for you to leave a supportive comment on their blog. The more thoughts and prayers the better.)

What up homies

 

Yo my homies, what up? I'm just chillin here with my dolly. Look, can we talk? I know we all love my mommy. I know I do, she's got the best boobs ever, but seriously, a cherry hoodie? I know I rock it because I'm the cutest baby ever, but there is something so wrong about girls wearing cherries. I'm just saying. Guess what, I slept 2 nights in a row from 10pm to 5am. I know, I KNOW. I'm totally going to set my folks up with some false sense of security about this whole sleep thing and then WHAM! Up every 2 hours. Hahahahahah, you know what I'm saying, don't you Connor? Man that boy is so cute, but daddy says I'm not even allowed to look at boys now. I think that's so narrow minded of him, don't you? I mean I've seen the way he looks at mommy. Today for church my mommy put me in ruffled butt tights and a dress for church and then squeaked all over me and took more of those flashy pictures that blind me.

 

I'll show her. I'm gonna lay a huge load in my diaper right now. Hey, don't give me that look, she's the one that ate Mexican last night. Refried beans will do that to a girl. Well anyways, it's time for me to cry and fuss. I'm thinking I needed some boobs and a cuddle. We'll talk again soon. I've got so many juicy secrets to tell about this family. I'd do the loco sign with my hands, but I've only just learned how to put them in my mouth. Baby steps people, baby steps. Later gators.

She even looks cute in poo.......

Winnie the Pooh that is. I had to post these pictures as the outfit was a lovely gift from the Wenchiest of all ladies, Christina. Thank you. Also, I want to give a shout out to the fab Margaret, mother of Soph's boyfriend Connor, for the kick ass video she sent. Soph is so spoiled by all her online aunts.

Now, on to the pictures!

 

(she's finally starting ot smile. i'm getting her belly here.)

 
(could that be the start of a dimple on her right cheek?)

 

I cried, but he didn't

Yesterday was Aaron's kindergarten round up. I suck as a mom and totally forgot the camera. When the hell did my baby boy get so big. AND why the hell does the school Principal insist on calling it kind-y-garten? Made me want to correct her every fucking time. The night before Aaron admitted he was nervous and was sad because it meant he wouldn't have his current preschool teacher anymore. I admitted I was nervous because I couldn't believe how big he was. We arrived at the school and signed in. We all sat down and had a small presentation from his teacher (who note was Ken's kindergarten teacher too.) Then all the kids went to the class room while the parents stayed for more information. Watching my son line up with all the other kids and walk away was about the hardest thing ever. Since he was born he has been by my side, my little man, my sidekick. I know this is only one of the first steps in letting go, but man was it a knife to my heart. I admitted I cried a little when they walked out of the gym. Then came the parent slide show that gave a detailed explanation of what the kids will be working on over the course of next year. Needless to say, Kev and I are going to have to push for extra work for the booger to keep him from being bored to tears. Everything the teacher listed, Aaron already knows. And no, I'm not being a bragging mom here (well, maybe just a little....). They will teach the kids to spell their name (check), letter recognition (check), letter sounds (check), counting to 110 (check- he actually counts to 130 or so), count by 5's and 10's (check), patterns (check), rhyming (check), addition and subtraction (check) and so forth. The other day while I was nursing Soph, Aaron pulled The Three Little Pigs out of the book shelf and proceeded to read the entire thing to me, complete with words like "house" and "bottom." I would push to get him into first grade, but I don't think he's ready socially. I just have to stay on top of things and do more at home. I don't want him to get so bored that he stops wanting to learn.

After the slide show was over, the kids came back wearing t-shirts with "Class of 2022" on it. I cried some more and the knife in my heart twisted a bit farther in. They all got back packs with books and activities and then we headed for a bus ride to get the kids used to riding buses. Aaron was so excited about everything and I just wanted to hold on to him tighter.

To make a long story short, kindergarten round up is worse than being constipated. My heart got stomped on a bit, yet I could be prouder of my little man. Now where's the vodka?

 
"Why does my mommy keep saying she needs a "stiff drink?"