Congrats Karmyn!

The Queen of the Swamp is hosting an all out internet baby shower for the gorgeous Karmyn, who is due at any time with a bouncing little boy.

Quite honestly, I don't know how anyone could beat WT's gift of Karmyn's own stripper. Even though right at this moment, I doubt Mr. Naked Muscle Man would be that enjoyable for a 9 month pregnant woman. Karmyn, feel free to pass your stripper my way!

I have a couple of gifts I'd like to give.

1. I bless you with sleep. Lots of beautiful sleep.

2. And seeing that most likely you have all that you need for the bug-a-boo when he arrives, I  have decided to share George for awhile. (BUT only for a while!)  He will be your personal chef and maid. So, all you have to do is sit back and enjoy your newest family member, without the pain of having to wonder if the dishes are washed or if the laundry is done. I know. It's the bestest gift ever. Enjoy. Take pictures! See if you can get him to clean your house topless!

Make sure you check out all the other "gifts" Karmyn receives!

And for all moms out there:

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

  Why did God make mothers?
  1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
  2. Mostly to clean the house.
  3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

  How did God make mothers?
  1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
  2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
  3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

  What ingredients are mothers made of?
  1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.   
  2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

  Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
  1. We're related.
  2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

  What kind of little girl was your mom?
  1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
  2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
  3. They say she used to be nice.

  What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
  1. His last name.
  2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
  3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
  1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
  2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
  3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
  1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
  2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the he stuff under the bed.
  3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

  What's the difference between moms & dads?
  1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
  2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
  3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you  want to sleep over at your friend's.
  4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
  1. Mothers don't do spare time.
  2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

  What would it take to make your mom perfect?
  1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
  2. Dye it. You know her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
  1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
  2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
  3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Comments

[Swampy]

Would you please send George to my place. He doesn't have to wear ANY clothes when he cleans my house.

Love the list...Thanks for attending the shower. I knew I could depend on expelling coffee from my nose with this visit.

[Sayre]

Hey, where'd you get my picture of George? I took that one night when he was leaning back against my black wall. He'd just asked rather sheepishly for a second helping of spagetti. With lots of parmesean. Silly George. That's the ONLY way to eat it! Anyway, I gave him a copy because I thought he looked so cute and now he's sharing it around on the internets! Good thing I kicked the bum out.

[Sayre]

P.S. He can't clean worth beans, but it was fun to watch him try.

[kaytabug]

What is sleep?

[Jacki]

2nd graders are pretty smart these days. ;-)

[Karmyn R]

THANK YOU for sharing George, if only for a little while....I wonder if he is a good cook. Who cares - as long as he is in my kitchen!!! (He's better than a stripper any day in my book!!!)

Love those 2nd grader answers. Very funny.

[the planet of janet]

ohhhh, so THAT's where george sneaked off to.

send him back immediately. (well, after karmyn's done, at least!)

[Pamela]

ha ha ha ha... love the mom stuff. perfect for mothers day, too!

Save George, and give him to her in a few months when she will appreciate watching him do chores-- I'm sure she'll be napping every chance she gets for awhile. But what an idea !!! You rock.

[chrisb]

Nikki that should put a smile on karmyn's face :)
Invisible eyes- where would mothers be without them LOL!

[Anglophile Football Fanatic]

I'm just amazed you love her enough to share George. WOW.

[Molly]

Thanks for the smiles from the second graders...you are right about a pregnant lady not needing a male stripper.

[WT]

George...neh (although in truth I'm a big fan of his work), but those kids answers were very insightful.

[WT]

Molly, the stripper was for everyone...

PS. Blooger has been a real bitch this morning, I haven't been able to leave comments on any Booger blogs so far.

[Robinella]

I'd share him too but only if he is fixed!

[Alison]

Great idea Nikki...maybe we should just pass George around?? Sharing is always a good thing, don't you think??