Every time I get an email I enjoy or cracks me up, I star it to post sometime in the near future. Then I forget to post it. So, my inbox gets filled with all these starred items that I do nothing with. Due to this ongoing issues, I am declaring today "Cleaning out my damn inbox" day. Perhaps a cute logo to follow if this becomes a regular post for me.
This email was titled "Between the Seconds". Awesome photos.
The next email brings us the 2007 Darwin Awards
The 2007 Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in
Long Beach, California ,
would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in
Chicago returned
with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he
shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harare to
Bulawayo had
escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a
nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer . . . $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
a crime committed?)
7. Seems an
Arkansas guy
wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder
block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a
New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The
Ann Arbor News
crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in
Ypsilanti, Michigan , at
5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
(*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER)
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your
friends and family ... unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad
they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember ... they walk among us! ***
Walmart Cake
Walmart Employee: "Hello 'dis Walmarts, how can I help you?"
Customer: " I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."
Walmart Employee: "What you want on the cake?"
Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you".
Walmart Employee: "Dat all? Okay, Bye."
Last email to share:
Morning Sex
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said,
"You've got to make love to me this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought,
"This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
and then gave it his all;
right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said,
"Thanks,"
and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,
"What was that all about?"
She explained,
"The egg timer's broken."
(snort!!)
Thus concludes "Cleaning out my damn inbox" day. When you get a moment, please check out my new Everyday Kindness page. I figured out this is the best way to keep everyone up-to-date on my acts of kindness for 2008. Also, I plan on overhauling my Jewelry Page soon. Keep on the lookout for that too. (Pssst! who's hosting Fun Monday next week?!)
