My husband calls me weird

The sharp edge of a razor blade

This might surprise a bunch of you, but even in the ass freezing cold temperatures of Michigan winters, I still shave my legs. I can't stand the feel of leg hair growing and between you and me, a little extra fuzz isn't going to keep me warmer. That's why God invented thermal underwear. For the first time in my 15 years of leg shaving, I butchered the back of my leg. I'd show you the gruesome details, but alas I am at work and have no immediate plans of dropping my pants to take a picture for you sick perverts. The reason of the butch-ary? The master bathroom only has a stand up shower. I have no leg rest. Do they sell somewhere leg shaving stations for stand up showers? Or maybe I should just get creative and use one of Aaron's plastic yellow Little Tikes chairs. According to Melissa (Ms. Uber Wealth of Knowledge)  these chairs also kick ass for video game playing. Although I doubt I will need them to play video games in the shower.

Oh and just in case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas, I'd like this t-shirt. (And while you're in the What on Earth website, poke around for a couple of minutes. Their stuff rocks.)

Have a lovely weekend. I have to continue the home unpacking and organizing bonanza, because, little o' stupid me has planned a Holiday Housewarming party for 60 people in 2 fucking weeks. I must be bat shit crazy.)

The post that really wasn't

My grandma was supposed to come home yesterday. The last time she was supposed to go home my mom fell and broke her ankle. Yesterday my my lovely (almost 96!) grandma decided it would be fun to pass out and get an all exclusive pass to another two days at the nursing home. It's starting to feel as if she's never going to get home. They've already planned on in home hospice care for her. I'm not quite sure I am ready for that, then again it doesn't really matter if I do feel ready for it. She's ready for it. Don't get me wrong, there's still some pep to her. Don't cross her or else she will smack you upside the head with some mighty stinging words. I just don't want her to waste the rest of the pep she has left in the nursing home. It drains her and makes her paranoid. She starts call all the nurses evil and tells them to go to hell. I just want the woman to have some peace. A break from the insanity that has been her life the last couple of months.

I'm at a loss here people. I can't seem to get a grip on everything that is going on and at any moment it feels as if the ground beneath me is going to crumble. Does life ever get any easier? Must it always feel like an uphill battle and with every two steps taken I have to take three steps back? Yes, I am blessed with all I have. Yes, there are people out there who have things far, far worse than I could ever imagine. I just need a moment of calm. A break from the madness.

My grandma on her wedding day in 1942.

Chilling on a front porch in 1940

And my favorite pictures of her
   

Insert Jeopardy theme music here

I'm really fucking busy here folks. I will be back tomorrow or Friday along with my brilliant whit and humor. Obviously my modesty too.

Getting a haircut

Yesterday I took Aaron in to get his hair cut (after a lovely doctor's visit. Ear still not fully recovered from last ear infection, but no antibiotics this time.). I usually cut it for him, but I was in no mood to fight him and was getting fed up of people telling me what a pretty girl I have. (Squeak! Just look at those curls!) So, the hairdresser and I finally convince him to sit in the chair and the lady asks Aaron what he wants from "Santi-Claus". (And I really wanted to bitch slap her for that. There is no "i" in Santa....it's an "a" for pete's sake on whole wheat toast!)

"I want my own flashlight and tape measure. In red so they match. My mommy won't let me play with hers."

This might be my cheapest Christmas yet.

Unfinished projects: The Fun Monday no one wants to admit to

This week is hosted by the uber cool Blue Momma at Life in the Fish Bowl. We are challenged to:

"I wanted to see your unfinished projects, so I guess I better show you a few of mine. Which is easy because it seems I rarely finish anything these days."

Story of my life people!

We see boxes pile one.......

and boxes pile two! One day they will get unpacked.

Wait there's more unfinished business!

My Holiday Housewarming Invitation making station on my counter top. Otherwise known as the unfinished crafts room project going on in my basement.

And finally,

Damn if I can't get him to do everything he's told the first time around....or say please and thank you at the appropriate times. It's a good thing he's so damn cute, even if he is so stubborn!!!

Go check out everyone else's unfinished projects!

Need a laugh?

Look at what my good friend created just for me! She kicks ass!

How was your turkey day?!?

Guess what?! I didn't kill anyone! My dinner came out tasting pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I was informed my stuffing was the best. My secret? Get them all drunk before I make them eat my food. They don't suspect a thing.

This about sums up the day.

Today we ignored the stores and went to go visit my grandma who requested I make her this:

This soup is not for the faint of heart and because I love you all (actually I don't want to hear you whining, begging me for the recipe....) I will share it with you. This, my friends, is the best baked potato soup recipe ever known to the human race. You can almost eat it with a fork and then make sure you take a nap afterwords. Believe me, you'll need it.

6 medium potatoes (I use about 8 or so red skins depending on size)
3/4 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks)
3/4 cup butter
4 cups milk
28 oz chicken broth
1 1/2 cups Cheddar cheese
8 oz sour cream
salt (to taste)
pepper (to taste)
dill (to taste)

• Bake/microwave the potatoes until cooked
• In a large pot, melt butter, add flour. Cook until thickened.
• Add milk and broth slowly. Stir constantly until thickened.
• Add cooked potatoes. Mash them a bit in the pot until desired consistency.
• Add sour cream, cheese and spices. Cook until thickened and all is nice and hot.
• Serve immediately

This is the basic recipe. I always funk mine up a bit. I saute onions and mushrooms to add in, plus just near the end I add crispy-cooked bacon. Think of all the other options! Make a spicy version with pepper jack cheese, or add ham. The options are really endless. I have yet to meet one person who doesn't love this soup. Enjoy. And don't come crying to me when you eat the whole damn pot yourself.

Eat some turkey, yum yum

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Eat lots of stuffing and pie! (Yuuuuuuummmmmmm pie.)

Be safe if you plan on Black Friday shopping. I'm eying a Cricut machine at Kev's store, but can't decide if they are worth the money. Especially because I hate scrapbooking and am only looking to purchase the machine to make party invites and so forth.........advice?

Also Christmas shopping?!??!?!?! I hate it, but look what I found online for one of my friend's kids. A couple of us are going in on the gift. Too cute no?! (insert horrible girly squeak here followed by a shut-up bitch.)

See you after the holidays and trying to food poison my relatives!

More pictures!!!

I've heard your pleas (Nikki, we want more house pictures!!!) or it's the voices in my head, either way, I give you more pictures of the new house. Mostly because I'm lame and have nothing else to offer today. I feel sludgy and slow......wait I always feel that way. Never mind. Here, have pictures so I can shut up.

My kitchen

 
(See that table?!?! It used to be a bright sunny yellow. Until I repainted it. Never again people.)


Dining room with all furniture and curtains

The green turned out to be much more pea-soupy than the picture shows.

My new living room curtains. Pardon the boxes. We are avoiding unpacking like the plague.

The living room walls are a more butter cream color that pulls out the golds in the curtains.

And finally get thee ass to Threadless and buy from their $10 t-shirt sale. Best. T-shirt. Sight. Ever. Look at which one I bought! I can't decide if I'm keeping it for myself or if it's going to be a Christmas present.

Upstairs pictures tomorrow! Please, try to hold down your excitement.

What I learned from moving

1. Patience? What the hell is patience?

2. Don't even bother with trying to set up appointments early (advance 2 weeks notice) because all service companies will lose your appointments and then blame you.

3. I am not the only one who suddenly has urges to walk up to my new LG appliances, cuddle it while screaming "Yeah baby!" and begin purring. Melissa, the sick pervert that she is, totally wants me to admit that I dry hump my appliances. So? Who cares if I do? I keep a container of wipes near by just in case I get a little too excited.

4. When you go to purchase $3500 worth of new appliances and think you are getting great sale prices, you really are paying full price and have to send in rebates. Don't expect any checks cut back to you for 8-12 weeks!

5. Measure your damn windows first before you go to purchase new curtain rods.

6. As much as you hate Wal*art, damn-it all if they don't have really cheap cute curtains and accessories.

7. When moving into a new home near the holidays, you suddenly become possessed with the urge to host Thanksgiving. I've never made a turkey before in my life. My poor family.

8. When you don't grocery shop for 3 weeks and the are hosting said above holiday, your grocery bill even shocks the Kro*er employees.

9. While in the process of moving, you will consume enormous quantities of fast food, pizza, Jimmy Johns and cookies.

10. Fuck me, all the torture is well worth it.